[Tlhingan-hol] Vows

[Alan Anderson]

On Tue, May 27, 2014 at 2:20 PM, Elizabeth Lawrence
<elizabeth.lawrence08 at gmail.com> wrote:
> I'm working on some Klingon wedding vows, and I'd like a second opinion.
>
> DaHjaj  qanay
> DaHjaj  qaSaw

cha' mu'tlheghmeyvam pIm jatlh cha' nuv pIm 'e' vIpIH. This had better
be two different people talking. :-)

> jIyIntaHvIS  bangwI’  SoHtaH
> reH  qatlhej  ‘e’  vI’Ip
> reH  SoHvaD  jISuv  ‘e’  vI’Ip

Would {ghob} work instead of {Suv}? I'm not sure that you want to go
overboard on the Klingon-esque sentiment.

> reH  juHwIj’e’  juHlIj  ‘oH  ‘e’  vI’Ip

If you're going to "front" the subject as a topic noun, it should
precede the adverbial as well. However, I think you probably should go
with standard word order: {reH juHlIj 'oH juHwIj'e'...}

> pIj maHaghmeH jIvum 'e' vI'Ip

I see what you mean about the phrasing here. If you really want the
{...'e' vI'Ip}, I'm having a hard time coming up with anything better.
How about {reH maHaghlaH 'e' vIpotlhmoH 'e' vI'Ip}?

> reH  maQaHchuq  ‘e’  ma’Ip

Why the sudden change to plural?

> DaHjaj qorDu' chu' wIchenmoH

Consider {wIcher} instead of {wIchenmoH}, though I can understand why
you might prefer {chenmoH}.

> Also, I'm not sure I like the mixture of first and second person, but I'm
> not sure how to rephrase.

You mean the {bangwI' SoHtaH}? I didn't notice anything odd about it.

-- ghunchu'wI'