[Tlhingan-hol] qo''e' tu'bogh pagh - 'ay' jav

[Rohan Fenwick - QeS 'utlh]

ghItlhpu' De'vID, jatlh:
> Also, are people okay with me putting all the Klingon in one chunk,
> followed by the English later, as I've been doing, or should I
> interlinear them?

I have no problem with the way you're doing it now.

taH:
> lupDujHom: SeHyaH[1], SD-1-0-3 'oH Dujvam'e', logh vergh chol.

I just used {SeHlaw} in First Contact, but admittedly the context was a
little different (the missile complex in that film is pretty small and
couldn't really be said to have much of a command centre) and I don't
have HQ 8.4.

> logh vergh: SD-1-0-3, NCC-1701-A-vaD *qIrq* HoD ghomDaj je DaHIj net
> chaw'.  rIn.

maj.

> VALERIS: meHDaq paw HoD.
> KIRK: peleS.  'Iv Sogh...?[2]

Hm. I see what you're doing here. If {'Iv} is standing in for the verb
(which it can do IIRC) this needs to be {'Iv Sogh'e'}. Otherwise, {Sogh
'Iv} works. Or, since this is in an on-duty context, how about just
{yIngu''egh, Sogh!}?

> [2] - Again with the backward order from English so I can't cut off in
> the right place.

Heh, yes, I ran into this problem a couple of times. :)

> VALERIS: *valerIS*, qaH.  DeghwI' DapoQ net ja' vaj jISap.
> SPOCK: Sogh, qaleghqa'mo' QaQ ghu'.  'ampaSDaq HaDpu'DI' Sogh,
> lutlhejbogh mangHom'e' ghaH nIv law' Hoch nIv puS.  ta'vam chavbogh
> vulqangan wa'DIch ghaH.

maj.

> KIRK: bIHemqu'bej.

I don't think Kirk's line is quite this strong; perhaps {bIHembej qar'a'}.

> VALERIS: 'e' vIHarbe', qaH.
> McCOY: vulqanganna' ghaH.

majQa'. Beautifully put. :)

> KIRK: Ha'.  Delaq Do'.  .... *SI'qotIy*?
> SCOTT (ghogh): lu', qaH.

He's not responding to an order here, so I think {lu'} is inappropriate,
though I don't believe {Su'} or {'eH} are really right either. {qaQoy},
perhaps?

> KIRK: jonta' pa' DaSam'a'?
> SCOTT (ghogh): DaqDaq vIlanpu'boghDaq vISam, qaH.[3]

Ugh. I agree, that's wrong. This is a tough one to translate and I think
Klingon is simply not capable of doing it exactly. What you're really
saying is "I found it in the place in which I left it", and Klingon
relative clauses can only access subjects and objects; there's no way to
make any other noun the head of a {-bogh} clause.

How about a recast? Maybe {naDev vIlanpu' 'ej naDev vISamqa'} "I put it
here and I've found it here again"?

> KIRK: SuH.   *'uHura*, vergh pIn HIrI'.[4]

I've always thought the prefix trick was underused in Klingon - often
it's only used with verbs that we could do the same thing for in English.
{vergh pIn HIrI'} is fine.

> UHURU: HevtaH SeHyaH, qaH.

Might {HevbeH} be a better rendering?

> KIRK: SeHyaH, 'entepray' maH... mamej 'e' yIchaw'.
> vergh ghogh: SeHyaH maH.  'entepray', Sumej net chaw'.  vergh lojmIt
> boSIchmeH wejmaH lup boghaj.[5]

I'll let Qov handle the piloting lingo. :)

As for the using {'entepray' maH} and {SeHyaH maH}, I think they're fine.
Later on Uhura says "Ursva maH" to the Morskan guard post for "We are
[the ship] Ursva", and though her Klingon was written as intentionally
bad, I think it's the only example of such a phrase we have to go on.

> VALERIS: wIwaQHa'lu'choH.[6]

I understood it as a command (to the crew, to the crew of the spacedock -
who knows?) to release the moorings, which I guess would be retractable
conduits or airlocks that allow people to move between the ship and the
spacedock. But I don't think it's a problem if it's not an order. Watch
your suffix ordering, though - {wIwaQHa'choHlu'}.

> KIRK: DaqvamDaq vergh lojmIt wIloStaH.

{wIloSlI'} might be better.

> vergh ghogh: Huvbej SumejmeH He.
> VALERIS: 'o' chuyDaH.
> KIRK: maj.  Sogh, cha'maH vagh Hong.
> VALERIS: HoD, ngochmo' verghDaq chuyDaH neH lulolu' 'e' qaqawmoHneS.[7]

{lulo'lu'}. Otherwise, majQa'. I like what you've done with {-neS}; it
communicates exactly what you intend.

> SPOCK: [tuSlaw']
> McCOY: *jIym*?

(Why not just {jIm}?)

> KIRK: qara'chu'ta' 'e' DaQoy, Sogh.
> VALERIS: lu', qaH.

maj.

QeS 'utlh