[Tlhingan-hol] mIl'oD veDDIr SuvwI': 19. ghob tIvnISbe'lu'

[Rohan Fenwick]

I tried sending this late yesterday, but I think some inadvertent formatting bumped it up over the list maximum of 40 KB, so rather than wait for the previous version to be moderated I'm just going to repost here.

For those not already aware, the largest work in Klingon that I'm engaged in at the moment is a translation of the Middle Georgian epic poem /Vepxist'q'aosani/, or "The Knight in the Panther's Skin". It's a romantic epic dating to the turn of the 13th century, and includes a lot of battles and warriors and heightened emotions and passionate love that would be well described as {parmaq} by Klingons. Back when I first started translating it I was occasionally posting chapters for the list's enjoyment and critique; I fell off from doing that after 18 'ay'mey, mainly because of a confrontation with some mental health issues, but I've been continuing to work on the translation more or less silently since then and 175 chapters are now complete (c. 40,000 words, about 80% of the original in total). I've been thinking for a little while about starting again to send chapters for y'all to read, and so I'm going to continue here with Chapter 19 of {mIl'oD veDDIr SuvwI'}.

To recap on the story so far: 'avtanDIl, a commander of the military under the emperor roStevan and as a youth also roStevan's ward, is in love with roStevan's only child, his daughter tIna'tIn. While out on a hunt together, roStevan and 'avtanDIl spied a lone warrior wearing the pelt of a sabre bear, weeping uncontrollably by the bank of a river, but after they attempt to accost the warrior, he attacks roStevan and 'avtanDIl and escapes on his horse, killing some of their attendants and injuring others. roStevan becomes very upset by this, and after returning home, cannot get this strange warrior out of his mind. So his daughter and empress-elect tIna'tIn, wanting to put her father's mind at ease, asks 'avtanDIl to go on a quest to locate this strange warrior in the sabre bear pelt, and it's at this stage that we pick back up the story with 'ay' 19DIch.

As always, I welcome questions about the rendition, critique of grammar or style, and rotten tomatoes wherever some stupid error deserves them, from beginners and po'wI'pu' alike.

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19.
«ghob tIvnISbe'lu'.»
(tlhIngan vIttlhegh)

'o qeylIS lIjlaHbogh pagh, 'o veqlargh je, HIQoychu': pormey HoS ghajbogh lav 'IH Dun law', bochqu'bogh Separ pup Dun puS; 'ach lav taDmoHlu'DI', 'oHDaq peDDI', vuplu'. Daqmey novDaq lengtaHvIS ghaH, Doy'choHmoH 'ej Doy'qu'choHmoH juHmeyDaj ru'!
yotlhmeyvetlhDaq nom SarghDaj lIghtaH 'ej moDmoHtaH 'avtanDIl. qolvat veHmey vegh, Sepmey novDaq lengtaH. 'ach julDajDaq[1] Hopqu'mo', yInDajvo' 'ay' nIHlu'law'pu'. DachchoHpu'mo' julDaj ghun, tIqDaj lavDaq[2] peDchoHchu', 'oH taDchoH chuchHom 'IQ. tIqDaj qIp neH 'avtanDIl; nIDmeH rut tajDaj pep. jatlh ghaH: «ghaH retlhDaq jIHpu'chugh, vaj ghaytan jISaQbe'pu'. mu'IQmoHchu'ta' 'u', wa'vatlhlogh tIqwIj 'oy' ghurta'. lopmey, tIngDagh, leSpal, Dov'agh je[3] vImej.» julDajvo' chevlu'pu'mo', nguvHa' lavDaj 'ej nguvHa'qu'. vulbe''eghmoHmeH, tIqDajvaD jatlh: «yItuv'eghmoH!»
Sepmey novDaq vaj lengtaH 'avtanDIl; latlh lengwI'pu'vaD jatlh 'ej De' SuqmeH tlhob; jawchuq chaH 'ej tIvchuq. Sepmeyvetlh novDaq puH nguvqu'moHbogh 'Iw SaQwI' nejtaH ghaH. ghaHvaD QongDaq Da yav'e', ghaHvaD nachDaj Qutlh DeS'e'. ghoghDaj peghtaHvIS, jatlh'egh: «'o bangwI', SoHDaq jIHop, 'ach SoHDaq SumbejtaH tIqwIj. SoHmo', jIHvaD bel moj Hegh, 'ej jI'IQqu'choH!»
yuQ Hoch SepDaq[4] leng 'avtanDIl; Hoch yoS Such, vaj chal naQ bIngDaq wa' Daq'e' Suchbe'pu'bogh ghaH tu'lu'be'. 'ach ghaHvaD De' noblaH pagh; 'Iw SaQwI' nejlI'bogh leghbe'lu'pu'. lengtaHvIS 'avtanDIl, ghaH 'It HoS Hamlet 'It puj. wa'maH cha' pemmey, wa'maH cha' rammey je yabDajDaq yIntaH bangDaj. tagha' qaSpu'DI' cha' DIS, Hut jar je, Hujbogh SepDaq paw. moHqu' 'ej gheghqu'; qaStaHvIS wa' jar naQ, pagh qeylIS puqloD, pagh qeylIS puqbe'[5] je qIH. tugh taHchoH puH tajvaj: jaQbogh ngech'a' HeHDaq pay' pawpu' 'e' tu' 'avtanDIl, 'ej pa' raQHom cher. ngech bIS'ubDaq, Soch jaj leng juchbogh yotlh'a' tu'lu'; 'avtanDIl yotlh'a' je jojDaq, ghoStaH QI Hutlhchu'bogh bIQtIq'e'. cha' HeHmeyDaj So'chu' ngemmey woch.

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[1] There's a lot of metaphorical references throughout to someone being someone else's "sun" or their "rose" or their "lion", their face being "crystal" or their hair "jet", or whatever. It's pervasive but often pretty opaque even in the original Georgian, so just something to keep in mind throughout.
[2] "On the rose of his heart".
[3] In the original, "harp", "lute" and "reed flute" respectively.
[4] A bit of hyperbole, no?
[5] "Sons of Adam" in the original; I'm being more equal-rights about rendering this sort of thing in the poem.

QeS 'utlh
 		 	   		  
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