[Tlhingan-hol] Short Poems

[SuStel]

On 12/15/2015 12:58 PM, John R. Harness wrote:
 > 2) Qaw'bogh Qincha'
 >
 > (Slashes mark long pauses (caesura))
 >
 > ghatlhbogh ghargh / chalvo' ghIr
 > nuvvaD nej / noghwI' ghung
 >
 >
 > jaghvaD jangDI' / ghotpu' jatwI'
 > lI'Ha' lurDech / lulotlhlaHbe'
 >
 >
 > QotDI' QoS / Qaw'bogh QIncha'

On 12/15/2015 3:31 PM, John R. Harness wrote:
> Ah! I'm glad to see someone is familiar with the form! Maybe you can be
> of help...

Most of my experience is from reading Tolkien:
<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Tolkien%27s_alliterative_verse>

> My research shows a pattern wherein two alliterating "lifts" in the
> first half-line also alliterate with another (and occasionally two)
> "lift" in the second half-line. Beyond that, non-alliterating syllables
> seem practically ignored, metrically.

Here's what I make of it:


/     x    /         x   /   /
ghatlhbogh ghargh || chalvo' ghIr

/  x   /      x   /   /
nuvvaD nej || noghwI' ghung

/   x   x   /      x   /   x  /
jaghvaD jangDI' || ghotpu' jatwI'

/  /   /  x       x /    x  /
lI'Ha' lurDech || lulotlhlaHbe'

x  /   /      /   x    x  /
QotDI' QoS || Qaw'bogh QIncha'


Line one has {gh} on both lifts in the a-verse and a lift on the {gh} in 
the b-verse, though it's the fourth lift instead of the third.

Line two doesn't have the alliterated sound on a lift in the b-verse.

Line three has no alliterated lifts, though clearly the sound is 
supposed to be {j}, which appear on two dips.

Line four has three lifts in the a-verse, if my understanding of the 
pronunciation of {lI'Ha'} is correct. Otherwise we get {l} on two 
a-verse lifts and one b-verse lifts, a normal alliterated line.

Line five misses the {Q} on the first lift of the a-verse but has it on 
the first syllable of the line.

> What do you make of it, SuStel? Can you tell me more about how you would
> expect the meter to flow, given your own explorations of the matter?

I don't see a pattern. I suspect a forgery by someone not familiar with 
Klingon pronunciation. ;)

My own only attempt was scrawled during the cabaret at qep'a' wa'maH 
cha'DIch, to recite before the cabaret was over because there was a 
dearth of songs at the event. I'm no poet, so I can't claim it's any 
good, but I think I got the meter and alliteration correct, for the most 
part. I know there were a couple of times I cheated, but poets cheat at 
alliterative verse all the time.

<http://trimboli.name/ghuHmoHQoQ.html>

> Similarly the issue with <lI?Ha? lurDech / lulotlhlaHbe?> may be one of
> scribal error OR evidence of a new dialectic or stylistic mode. My
> reconstruction is "The tradition is useless / They cannot rebel (against
> it?)"

I understood the meaning of the sentences; I just can't make out how 
they relate to the rest of the poem.

-- 
SuStel
http://trimboli.name