[Tlhingan-hol] mIl'oD veDDIr SuvwI': 20. jeghbe' tlhInganpu'

[Rohan Fenwick]

Taking De'vID's advice, I'm breaking the translation up into a bit smaller chunks. Hopefully it still flows okay but is easier to handle now. This 'ay' has several comments attached, and also some minor notes on my part about skirting the edges of acceptable grammar.

In the last 'ay', we saw 'avtanDIl having roamed across the world to find the mysterious silent warrior in the sabre bear pelt, and coming towards the end of the three years of searching he had promised to his love tIna'tIn to search for the warrior. Having crossed most of the world looking for this strange warrior, he finally found himself in a distant land, and, with him riding up to the edge of a valley leading down into a great plain, we pick up the story.

As always, comments and critique are most welcome.

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20. jeghbe' tlhInganpu'

bIQtIq HeH SIchpu'DI' 'avtanDIl, tlhe''egh 'ej ngech'a'vo' lulIghDajDaq[1] toSqa'. qaSbe'pu'bogh poHDaj, qaSbe'pu'bogh jajmeyDaj togh; ghaHvaD ratlh cha' jar neH 'e' tu'. tu'mo' moghchoH; belbe'qu'bej.

«ghuy'cha'! vay' 'angchoHlu'jaj!» jatlh. ratlhbogh poH ngajmo', loQ yoHbe'choH tIqDaj. HoQwI'vaD quvwI' mojmoHlaH pagh; bogh'eghqa'moHlaH pagh.

pay' QubchoH 'avtanDIl; qelmeH QamchoH je ghaH. jatlh'egh: «vaj jIcheghchugh, qatlh HatlhDaq jInejlI'qu' jIH? julwI'vaD[2] nuq vIjatlhlaH? Qu'wIjvaD nuq vIchavtaH? SuvwI'vetlh nov bopbogh pagh joS'e' vIQoypu'! jIcheghbe'chugh, 'ej nuvvetlh vInejlI'bogh De' vIghojlaHbe'chugh, Qu'wIjvaD jIvumnIStaHqu'. qaSpu'DI' jaj wIwuqta'bogh jIH SermaDIn je, reghchoHlaw' mInDu'Daj;[3] 'utlhvaD SoQmey jatlhnISbogh jatlh ghaH.»

«mulobchu' SermaDIn» jatlh'eghtaH, «'ej jIHeghpu' 'utlhvaD 'e' ja'. ghIq belHa'qu'choH nuvpu'Daj 'ej SaQqu'choH; chaHvaD 'eyHa'qu'[4] ghu'vetlh. qaSpu'qu'DI', 'ej Dat vIlengpu'qu'DI', ngugh jIcheghbej.»

vaj Qub 'avtanDIl, SaQtaHvIS ghaH 'ej SottaHvIS. jatlh ghaH: «'o qeylIS![5] qatlh SanwIj'e' choHtaH 'u' jay'? va, qatlh lengvam vIghoSpu', pagh vIchavqu'taHvIS? tIqwIjvo' bel DapochHa'pu'; tIqwIjDaq bep'e' DaH Dapol. qaStaHvIS yInwIj Hoch, jISaQHa''eghchoHmoHlaHbe'.»[6]

ghIq jatlh'egh: «Qo'! jItuv'eghmoHchugh, qaq ghu'. vaj tugh jIHeghbe'qu'jaj, 'ItHa'moHlu'jaj tIqwIj. batlhHa' jIvangchugh,[7] pagh vIchav jISaQtaHvIS. San choHlaH pagh: vay' wuqlu'chugh, wuqHa'be'lu'; qaSbe'bejchugh vay', qaSbe'bej. batlh potlh law' yIn potlh puS.[8] bIcheghbej SoH. Dughomqa'bej tIna'tIn, pem wov wovqu'moHwI'; SuvwI''a'vetlh De' SovmeH Dutlhob; beplu'chugh, nuq chavlu'?» vaj QubtaHvIS, ngem HeH'e' velbogh lavHommey 'ej yIQbogh jaHchoH.

«mujuSbejpu' qo' Hoch ghot, Hoch Dep je» jatlh'egh. «'ach loDvetlh bopbogh De''e', vogh vIghojlaHbe'pu'. ghaHvaD qa' mIgh lupongDI' nuvpu', vItba' chaH. jISaQchugh, lI'be'qu', vaj pagh vIchavlaHmo' jISaQtaHvIS, qatlh jIruchtaH?»

vaj raQHomDajvo' ngech'a'Daq ghIr 'avtanDIl; ngemmeyDaq bIQtIqDaq je ghoS, yotlh'a' lurghDaq SarghDaj lIghmoHtaH. bortaHvIS bIQtIq 'ej SuStaHvIS Sormey,[9] ghaH lunuQchoH. tlhoS narghpu' HoSDaj le'yo'Daj je, 'ach 'IHtaH Doqqu'bogh qabDaj, tIqchoHpu'bogh rolDaj je.

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[1] Georgian /sadguri/ "shelter, harbour", for which I thought {lulIgh} "refuge" was reasonable.
[2] Because much of the metaphor of the poem is so damn opaque, although I know it's strictly ungrammatical, I've chosen to signal some metaphorical uses explicitly by using prescriptively "incorrect" affix forms. This is an instance of that: {jul} "sun" should normally take {-wIj}, but because it's a metaphor for 'avtanDIl's love tIna'tIn here, I use {-wI'}. There'll be many instances of this throughout the poem (another example is {SeparDu'} for "sparkling eyes"; {Separ} "type of gemstone" should normally take {-mey}, but to signal the metaphorical use as a body part descriptor I've used {-Du'} instead).
[3] Weeping is oh so very common in the poem, but since Klingons have no tear ducts and their eyes are said only to {DoqchoH} "redden" from time to time (HQ12:4.8-9), I've had to improvise around that theme. The idea of actual bleeding from the eyes extends the metaphor of Klingon eyes {DoqchoH}ing, but even in the Middle Georgian original there's quite a few places where people weep so fiercely that their tears are mingled with blood, which makes me even more okay with relying on this theme.
[4] Georgian /mc'are/ "bitter" carries the same metaphorical senses as English "bitter", but Klingon {wIb} doesn't, so I've gone for {'eyHa'} here, which better conveys the metaphorical sense alongside the literal.
[5] Georgian /γmerto/ "o God!".
[6] Or should this be {jISaQbe''eghchoHmoHlaHbe'}? The original means "all my days my tears will never cease". I'm still a little reticent about using the same rover twice in a verb, but I'm doubtful if {SaQHa'} really works for this meaning. Thoughts?
[7] Georgian /uγmrtod/ "without God".
[8] The original is translated as "die; for thee it is better than shameful life". I thought the classic proverb worked beautifully here.
[9] Sometimes I try to get a little poetic myself in the translation, though I'm not sure if the verb {SuS} would be quite understood here with the meaning I intend.

SKI: 'avtanDIl struggles with the knowledge that he may soon have to return home to his love, his people, and his advisor knowing nothing about the mysterious warrior, but finally pushes himself onwards.

QeS 'utlh 		 	   		  
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