[Tlhingan-hol] Too short

[lojmitti7wi7nuv at gmail.com]

Actually, the "SO" seems awkward in Klingon, to my ear. The problem is that {HoS, val, vaQ, Duj Doj ra'} works nicely as parallel grammatical constructions, listing good things about the captain, but to put {-mo'} on only one of them really feels wrong. It feels like encoded English instead of translated Klingon.

My suggestion would be:

3. tlha'a HoD vIHo': HoSmo', 'ej valmo', 'ej vaQmo' 'ej Duj Doj ra'mo' vIqIH vIneH.

I don't see where {vaj} adds anything to the sentence, and I don't think the {-mo'} can be added to the last verb and not the others, if you mean what I think you mean. Each of these traits of the captain are causes of your wanting to meet him. I also think you need {'ej} between each of the verbs. We have no canon that I know of where commas can replace {'ej} for all but the last item of a list of verbs. That's a very English construction that I haven't noticed show up in parallel for Klingon.

I can be wrong, and I hope I don't cause any big argument here. I'm just sharing what I honestly think is better formed Klingon grammar.

On Jul 2, 2014, at 3:16 AM, Lieven <levinius at gmx.de> wrote:

> Am 01.07.2014 21:42, ghItlh SuStel:
>> When spoken aloud, the above has a pause where the colon is, but it
>> doesn't sound like you're finished with an idea. The commas are slight
>> pauses, but leading into the next word. Only at the periods do you
>> finish your idea and rest.
> [...]
> 
>> So: use small FORMAL sentences, but group them into single ideas.
> 
> That's true what SuStel says. I like to add the conjunction part, because that easily creates longer sentences, without making them really "long". In your example, it's easy, without changing the word order but by exchanging commas by conjunctions:
> 
> 1. tlha'a HoD vIHo': HoS, val, vaQ, Duj Doj ra'. vIqIH vIneH.
> 
> 2. tlha'a HoD vIHo': HoS, val, vaQ 'ej Duj Doj ra'mo' vaj vIqIH vIneH.
> 
> I admire Captain Klaa: he is strong, clever, aggressive AND BECAUSE he commands an impressive ship SO I want to meet him (full stop).
> 
> (the SO part sounds weird in english but is okay in klingon)
> 
> 
> -- 
> Lieven L. Litaer
> aka Quvar valer 'utlh
> http://www.facebook.com/Klingonteacher
> http://wiki.qepHom.de
> 
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