[Tlhingan-hol] qo''e' tu'bogh pagh - 'ay' wej

[Rohan Fenwick - QeS 'utlh]

ghItlhpu' De'vID, jatlh:
> KIRK: qatlh naDev maHtaH? 
> McCOY: chaq 'utlh patlh wISuqmo' lulop.

Perhaps just {lop} "they celebrate" rather than {lulop} "they celebrate it"?

> SCOTT: maj.  qen bIQ Duj vIje'pu'.
> UHURA: potlhqu'nIS qepvam[1].  'ampaSDaq ghojmeH qep vIche' 'e' vIruchnIS.

I actually think {potlhqu'nIS qepvam} captures the sense well here. No issue
with {-nIS} that I would raise, though my canon database is no help.
 
> CHEKOV: patlh jen ghajwI'vaD neH 'oHbe''a' qepvam'e'? 
> KIRK: naDev maHchugh Hoch, nuqDaq ghaH *Sulu*'e'?

{naDev maHchugh Hoch} grates because of the overt and hence third-person noun
despite the first-person pronoun; it feels mismatched. Also, you're missing
{-'e'} in the first clause. Maybe replace {Hoch} with {Hoch maH'e'}?
 
> McCOY: *Sulu* HoD'e'.  Qu' ta'taH.

{chav} {rInmoH} ghap Daqelpu''a'?

> KIRK: nuqDaq ghaH *Spock*'e'? 
> boQDu': peghqu' ja'meH qepvam.  be'pu' loDpu' je, ra'ghomquv DevwI'. 
> C in C: peleS.  De'vam potlh vIja'meH ngajqu' poH.  vaghmaH nem  
> tlhIngan wo' Qaw'lu'pu' net noH.  De' naQ ja'meH, jatlhrup DIvI' Duy  
> le'.

maj.

> SPOCK: maj po.  cha' wen tlhIngan maS pIraqSISDaq jorqu' vay' 'e' jIH  
> DIvI' Duj.  tlhoy lutlhIlmo'law' 'ej yepHa'mo'law' jor.

Watch your suffix ordering: {lutlhIllaw'mo'}, {yepHa'law'mo'}.

> maS Qaw'lu'mo' lamqu'choH yuQ muDchaj 'ej HeghchoHmoH[2].

I have no problem with {HeghchoHmoH}. What do you think about {SuQchoH}
"begin to be toxic" for "pollute", instead of {lamqu'choH}?

> qaSpu'DI' vaghmaH tera' DISHeymey[3] loj yInSIpchaj.

I think {vaghmaHHey} is okay, though I'd be tempted just to say {vaghmaH
tera' DISmey} and forget the approximation altogether.

> 'Iqmo' Huch'e' poQbogh QI',

I'd say {QI'chaj}, just to be clear whose military's being talked about.

> yapbe' tlhIngan Huch jo 'ej lotvam luma'ruplaHbe'[4].

Agreed, I'm not sure {ma'} is quite the right word... How about {jey}?
I like what you've done with {-ruplaHbe'} here, by the way.

> wen mutungHa'mo' vulqangan Duy'a',

{wa'wen}, with or without a space.

> maja'chuq jIH ghorqan[5] je.

I don't think we have it in canon, but for my part, since Gorkon is
played by a speaker of English English I'm going to plead for {ghorqon}
here, which is also the form used in the Klingon Hamlet.

> tlhIngan yejquv Qang ghaH.  SIbI' maSutlhchoH 'e' chup. 
> CARTWRIGHT: nuq wISutlh? 

maj.

QeS 'utlh