[Tlhingan-hol] qo''e' tu'bogh pagh - 'ay' wa'

[Rohan Fenwick - QeS 'utlh]

ghItlhpu' De'vID, jatlh:
> Here's half of the opening scene from {Hov leng jav: qo''e' tu'bogh pagh}. 

maj. muchvetlh vItIvbej 'ej bIng ghItlhmey vIlegh 'e' vItIv.

taH:
> SULU (ghogh): Hov poH HutSaD vaghvatlh cha'maH wa' vI' jav.

Remember that {HovpoH} is a single Klingon word. Also, just a style thing,
but in my First Contact subtitles I did dates in digits rather than words,
since they're long strings of words in Klingon and the viewer may not have
enough time to read all of it. Your call, though.
 
> DIvI'may'Duj *Excelsior* HoD QonoS. ra'taH *Hikaru Sulu*. wej ben  
> Dujvam pIn'a' vImojDI' Qu'wIj wa'DIch vItagh.

The implication that they have completed is missing from this. I know you
use {pItlh} later on to show this, but with subtitles I think one have to
be a bit more careful about matching the meaning of each chunk of subtitle
with the chunk of text being spoken at the same time.

> be'ta[1] joghDaq SIp bopbogh 'ej motlhbe'bogh yuQ wanI'mey mem wIgherlI'.

val {be'ta}. majQa'. {mem} lo'meH 'eb Datu'ta' je!

'ach {SIp bopbogh 'ej motlhbe'bogh yuQ wanI'mey} vIpar. I don't like {bop}
here. I'd presumed "gaseous planetary anomalies" here is derived from
"gaseous planet", so perhaps just {motlhbe'bogh SIp yuQ wanI'mey}?

> wa'vatlh vatlhvI' Hong, juH wIchegh. Qapchu' Duj, beqpu' je 'e' vIja'mo'  
> jIbelqu'.
> SULU: mIchvam naQDaq malengchu' 'e' nuja' De'vam. 

maj.

> VALTANE: nughoS HoS yu'egh, poSDaq tajvaj cha'vatlh loSmaH DoD jav.[2] 

I think {nughoSlI'} would be better here, and also {poSvo'} rather than
{poSDaq}.

> SULU: HaSta! va... baQa'... botjan! 

I think just {baQa'} is enough.

> (ronqu' Duj)
> LOJUR: HoD, Duj ra'lu'DI' vangQo'.
> SULU: nIH chuyDaH. yItlhe', yu'eghvaD qabmaj tI'ang.[3]

In battle and red-alert type situations, I used Clipped Klingon. You're
free not to, but just a suggestion. Other than that, I like how you've
translated "turn her into the wave"; majQa'.

> LOJUR: lu'. 
> SULU: cha'maH vaghvatlh vatlhvI' Hong[4]... QIH yIja'. 
> jonwI': Hoch patmey lutoblI'lu'.[5] 

Watch your suffix order: {lutoblu'lI'}. I think you might be right about
{'ol}, too.

> SULU: chunDab lughaylu'bogh neH chaH 'e' yIja'Qo'![6]

Hm. Though I could understand {chunDab lughaylu'bogh}, it seems a little
literal. {numup chunDabmey neH 'e' yIja'Qo'}, maybe?
 
> [7] - What's the answer to an imperative with {-Qo'}? 

I'd do it as {lu'} plus the report. Maybe {lu'. ghobe'.}?

QeS 'utlh