[Tlhingan-hol] qungmey bommey je

[Wiechu]

I think both of you are by mistake using qoH instead of joH for lord. As I
don't know the original version I thought it was supposed to be foolish
husband. However doesn't {joH loDnal} mean "lord's husband" ?

2012/2/2 David Trimboli <david at trimboli.name>

> On 2/1/2012 7:23 AM, Gaerfindel wrote:
>
>> Took me several hours to translate this, recasting some as I went, but I
>> think I got the gist. Thanks to matlh for a particular vocabulary word!
>>
>
> I'll offer some thoughts, but I'm not prepared to offer my own translation
> right now.
>
>
>  ‘unDaq ‘oH qung, lIySa’
>> be’naloywI’ lIySa’
>>
>
> A better transliteration of Liza would be {laySa}. {ay} sounds like the
> word "aye," which is the sound of "i" in "Liza." You might pronounce it
> {lay'Sa} since a syllable with a glottal stop tends to carry the stress,
> while the final syllable in a noun without glottal stops tends to be the
> syllable with the stress.
>
> Perhaps you're making use of poetic license, but grammatically the first
> sentence should be {'unDaq 'oH qung'e'} "the hole is in the pot."
>
> I don't think {be'naloywI'} is a good match for "dear." It basically means
> "my wifey-poo," which is far too saccharine for this song, which is just
> saying "dear Liza, dear Liza."
>
> Klingons would probably ignore the "dear" part of the song, and just name
> lay'Sa.
>
>
>  ‘unDaq oH qung, lIySa’
>> be’nalwI’, ‘oH qung
>>
>> qung yItI’ qoH’a’ loDnal
>> HenrI’ qoH’a’ loDnal
>>
>
> {qoH'a' loDnal} doesn't really make sense. "My great lord husband"? See my
> comments on {be'naloywI'}, above.
>
> I'd transliterate Henry as {HenrIy}. There is no glottal stop in the name.
>
>
>  qung yItI’ qoH’a’ loDnal
>> HenrI’ yItI’qu’!
>>
>> chay’ qung vItI’, lIySa’
>> be’naloywI’ lIySa’
>> chay’ qung vItI’, lIySa’
>> benaloywI’, chay’?
>>
>> Sor nItlh yIlo’, HenrI’
>> qoH’a’ loDnal HenrI’
>> Sor nItlh yIlo’, HenrI’
>> Sor nItlh yIlo’qu’!
>>
>> ‘ach Sor nItlh tIqHa’qu’
>> be’naloywI’ lIySa’
>> ‘ach Sor nItlh tIqHa’qu’
>> Sor nItlh tIqHa’qu’!
>>
>
> That's a lot of twisting to get extra syllables! A more literal
> translation would be {'ach tlhoy tIn Sor nItlh}.
>
>
>  yIpe’nIS qoH’a’ loDnal
>> HenrI’ qoH’a’ loDnal
>> yIpe’nIS qoH’a’ loDnal
>> yIpe’nIS!
>>
>
> For extra syllables, consider using {vaj} at the beginning of everything
> lay'Sa sings.
>
>
>  chay’ nItlh vIpe’, lIySa’
>> be’naloywI’ lIySa’
>> chay’ nItlh vIpe’, lIySa’
>> chay’ Sor nItlh vIpe’?
>>
>> taj yIlo’nIS, HenrI’
>> qoH’a’ loDnal HenrI’
>> taj yIlo’nIS, HenrI’
>> taj yIlo’nISqu’!
>>
>
> Using {-nIS} on an imperative verb is commanding the addressee to need
> something. "Need to cut the knife!"
>
> Also, I think you're adding {-qu'} to things just to add syllables. Best
> to find something that means what you want, rather than to intensify
> syllables just to add length to lines.
>
> Literally, not considering meter, the line should read {taj yIlo', HenrIy}
> "Use a knife, Henry."
>
>
>  ‘ach jejHa’qu’, lIySa’
>> be’naloywI’ lIySa’
>> ‘ach jejHa’qu’, lIySa’
>> ‘ach jejHa’qu’ taj
>>
>
> While {tlhoy jejHa'} means "too dull (having been made unsharp)," I kind
> of like {jejHa'qu'} to emphasize the fact that the sharpness of the knife
> has been undone. The {-qu'} emphasizes the {-Ha'}: "UNsharp."
>
>
>  taj yIjejmoH HenrI’
>> qoH’a’ loDnal HenrI’
>> taj yIjejmoH HenrI’
>> DaH taj yIjejmoH!
>>
>> chay’ taj vIjej, lIySa’
>> be’naloywI’ lIySa’
>> chay’ taj vIjej, lIySa’
>> chay’ tajvam vIjej?
>>
>
> vIjejmoH
>
>
>  jejmeH nagh let yIlo’
>> qoH’a’ loDnal, HenrI’
>> jejmeH nagh let yIlo’
>> nagh let yIlo’nIS!
>>
>
> If we're thinking of the original, Liza simply says, "With a stone, dear
> Henry." She doesn't say "hard sharpening stone." You're probably looking
> for extra syllables again. Without regard for meter, a literal translation
> would be {nagh yIlo'} "use a stone."
>
>
>  ‘ach QaDqu’ nagh, lIySa’
>> be’naloywI’ lIySa’
>> ‘ach QaDqu’ nagh, lIySa’
>> QaDqu’jejmeH nagh
>>
>
> I'd prefer {tlhoy QaD nagh} "the stone is too dry."
>
>
>  nagh yIyIQmoH, HenrI’
>> qoH’a’ loDnal HenrI’
>> nagh yIyIQmoH, HenrI’
>> qoH’a’ yIyIQmoH!
>>
>> chay’ yIQ vIqeng, lIySa’
>> be’naloywI’ lIySa’
>> chay’ yIQ vIqeng, lIySa’
>> be’naloywI’, chay’?
>>
>> ‘unDaq yIqeng, HenrI’
>> qoH’a’ loDnal HenrI’
>> ‘unDaq yIqeng, HenrI’
>> ‘unDaq yIQ yIqeng!
>>
>> ‘ach…’unDaq ‘oH qung, lIySa’
>> be’naloywI’ lIySa’
>> ‘unDaq ‘oH qung, lIySa’
>> be’nalwI’, ‘oH qung…
>>
>
> A good effort. If you take any of my suggestions, remember that part of
> the song is repeating the same form of sentences every other verse. Don't
> switch between using adverbials here and not using them there. HenrIy
> should sing in the same form throughout, and Lay'Sa should do the same with
> her own form.
>
> --
> SuStel
> http://www.trimboli.name/
>
>
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