[Tlhingan-hol] Klingon Jabberwocky

Sun Jan 26 06:56:43 PST 2014

> I know it's been translated several times already. But I don't think any
> of the translators are active in the KLI any more, though I could be wrong.

I know of one previous translation:

http://everything2.com/title/Jabberwocky+Translations

It has some nice elements, but it's quite ungrammatical in a lot of places.
...though I suppose that isn't necessarily so terrible when translating a poem that is intentionally nonsensical.

Anyhow, looking at the text you request be translated:

== Stanza 1 ==

> It was meal time

A possible nonsense word for "brillig" would be something like *'uQvutpoH*, or "dinner-prepare-time".
(I've marked *'uQvutpoH* with asterisks here to distinguish it as a nonsense word.)

However, a fairly literal translation of the first line would be:

{qaS nay' poH}

> and the ChuSwI' were digging/burrowing.

There isn't really a word for "dig" or "burrow" in Klingon (that we know of).
One way to recast this is to say that they were forming holes in the ground:

{'ej QemjIqmey chenmoHtaH chuSwI'mey}

If one wants to make up a nonsense word, one could do something like

'ej *Qemmey* *jIqtaH* chuSwI'mey
"And the noisy ones were *jIq*ing *Qem*s.

or

'ej *QemjIqtaH* chuSwI'mey
"And the noisy ones were hole:ing."

[[For those wondering, a *chuSwI'* is a type of burrowing rodent mentioned in one of Keith R.A. DeCandido's books.]]

> Stirring/restless/unrestful were the blas rikas

The word "blas rika" comes from a Star Trek novel, and while it's described as a Kronosian animal, the name doesn't really make sense in tlhIngan Hol (though it might make sense in the less-developed language of klingonaase).
One could approximate it as *bIlaSrIy'qa'* or something.

Another alternative would be to use *puvmachQa'*.
This is a word for "bat" which was jokingly used by a Star Trek novelist (I believe it was Dayton Ward) on Twitter. It's made up of three word: "fly-small-Qa'* (where a Qa' is a Kronosian animal, possibly resembling a large rodent).
It's actually quite nonsensical, like *'uQvutpoH*, but it might be just right for this sort of thing.

Going with this approach, the sentence might be translated with something like:

bIttaH *puvmachQa'mey*
"The *puvmachQa'*s were being nervous"

jotHa'taH *puvmachQa'mey*
"The *puvmachQa'*s were un-calm"

> and the targs were grunting/making noises.

{'ej chuStaH targhmey.}
"And the targs were being noisy."

== Stanza 2 ==

> “Beware/be careful of/be wary of the Ja'poWech', my son,

{yIyep puqloD! *ja'powech* yIghuH!}
"Be careful, son! Be wary of the ja'powech!"

That's fairly literal. I kind of like the following sentence, which I believe obeys the meter of the original quite well:

{yIyep puqloD! ghach *ja'powech*!}
"Be careful, son! The ja'powech lurks!"

If one is to be stringent with the grammar, however, it should really be:

{yIyep'eghmoH puqloD! ghach *ja'powech*!}
"Make yourself careful, son! The ja'powech lurks!"

> the jaws that bite/its jaws bite

{chop Ho'Du'Daj.}
"Its teeth bite."

> the claws that grip/catch/its claws catch/grip.

{'uch pachDu'Daj.}
"Its claws grip."

> Beware/be careful of/be wary of the krencha
> and the terrible/wild mll'oD.”

Quite literally:

{QIncha' yIghuH! // mIl'oD Qob yIghuH!}
"Beware the krencha! Beware the dangerous sabre-bear!"

I can't resist to mention that the syllable cha', which is last in {QIncha'}, is the first syllable of several bird names.
http://klingonska.org/canon/search/?file=2001-12-holqed-10-4.txt&get=source
Since the original text mentions here a "Jubjub bird", this opens up some potential for making up a new imaginary creature.
Perhaps a *QIncha'naS*? This would be a combination of {QIncha'} (or "krencha"; a dangerous, reptilian predator) and {cha'naS} (a bird which digs up bugs to eat). It also sounds quite similar to {QIncha' naS}, which means "vicious krencha".

One could then go for something like:

{yIyep'eghmoH! QIncha'naS yIghuH! // yIyep'eghmoH! mIl'oD Qob yIghuH!}
"Be careful! Beare the *QIncha'naS*! // Be careful! Beware the dangerous sabre-bear!"

Or, reworking it a bit:

{yIyep! naDev wam QIncha'naS // 'ej QobmoH HoSghajbogh mIl'oD.}}
"Be careful! Here hunts the *QIncha'naS* // and the powerful sabre-bear makes it dangerous."

== Stanza 3 ==

> He took his honourable sword in hand/he grabbed his honourable sword

{'etlhDaj quv lel.} = "He took out his honorable sword."
{'etlhDaj quv 'uch.} = "He grabbed his honorable sword."

One could also use *batlh'etlh*, meaning "honor-sword". This would essentially be taking the etymology of the word {betleH} ("bat'leth") and presenting it with modern Klingon words.
I think you can get a rather Jabberwock-esque rhyme by referring to his sword as his "loyal honor-sword", or {*batlh'etlh* matlh}.

{*batlh'etlh* matlh 'uch 'ej yanmeH lel.}
"He grabbed the loyal honor-sword and took it out so as to wield it."

> And looked for his/the enemy.

{jaghDaj qu' nejtaH mInDu'Daj.}
"His eyes were seeking for his fierce enemy."

> He rested for a while/short time

{qaStaHvIS poH ngaj leStaH ghaH.}
"During a short while, he was resting."

> and stood thinking/brooding.

{leStaHvIS ghaH Qu'Daj QubtaH.}
"As he rested, he was thinking of his mission."

== Stanza 4 ==

> While he was thinking/standing/brooding

{leStaHvIS 'ej QubtaHvIS ghaH}
"While he was resting and thinking"

> the Ja'poWech' came/appered

{ghaH nuD *ja'powech* qul mInDu'.}
"the fire-eyes of the ja'powech studied him."

> shaking the ground/making the ground shake
> and roaring terribly/making a horrible noise.

{pe'vIl jachchoH Ha'DIbaH naH // 'ej QommoH choltaHbogh jIvvo'.}

"The aggressive animal started to scream forcefully // and the approaching villain caused the ground to shake."

Here, I figured there was potential to make these two lines mirror two form the previous stanza:
> {yIyep! naDev wam QIncha'naS // 'ej QobmoH HoSghajbogh mIl'oD.}

== Stanza 5 ==
> Again and again/over and over

{jop 'ej way' ghIq *law'logh* jopqa'.}
"He lunged and deflected then *manitime* lunged again."

Here *law'logh* is a nonsense word, using the template <N>logh (meaning "N times"; for example, {wa'logh} = "once", {cha'logh} = "twice"), but using the verb {law'} ("be many") instead of a number.

A more grammtical alternative:

{jop ghaH 'ej way' ghIq jopqa' ghaH.}
"He lunged and defended, then he lunged again."

{jop 'ej way'. jopqa' 'ej way'qa'.}
"He lunged and deflected. Here lunged and deflected again."

> with great skill
> he attacked with his honourable sword

{*batlh'etlh* matlh yantaHvIS po'qu'.}
"He was very skilled while wielding the loyal honor-sword."

> With a mighty cut/strong cut/strong blow

{jaghDaj Hugh HIv; SIj 'ej chevchu'.}
"He attacked his enemy's throat; he slit and totally separated it."

> The took its head/chopped off its head/cut its head
> and returned home.

{nach mob tlhap 'ej juHDajDaq qem.}
"He took the lone head and brought it to his home."

== Stanza 6 ==

> “My son, you have killed the Ja'poWech'!

{Qapla' puqloD! Hegh ja'powech!}
"Success, son! The ja'powech died!"

> Come to my arms/let me embrace you/ let me give you honour.

{HIjaH! qaquvqu'moH vIneH!}
"Come to me! I wish to give you much honor!"

> We shall have a feast today/we shall feast/we shall celebrate.”

{DaHjaj malop! 'uQ'a' wISop!}
"Today we celebrate! We eat a great dinner!"

> Said his proud/happy father

{jatlh Sub vav Hem, puqloD leghDI'.}
"Said the hero's proud father, when he saw the son."

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Well, there's a rough draft, anyway, that can be modified to fit one's taste.
I don't think it'd be impossible to fit it to a consistent meter and rhyming structure, though it would take some effort and probably require one to diverge still further from a literal translation.

________________________________
From: De'vID [de.vid.jonpin at gmail.com]
Sent: Sunday, January 26, 2014 10:49
To: Richard Svensson; KLI
Subject: Re: [Tlhingan-hol] Klingon Jabberwocky

On Jan 26, 2014 8:56 AM, "Richard Svensson" <loneanimator at gmail.com<mailto:loneanimator at gmail.com>> wrote:
> BUT I need to find someone willing to help me out with the translation of the poem into Klingon; not an exact copy with rhymes and the same rythm, but rather its own version.
> Is there anyone at the institute who would be willing to offer me this help, or do you know of any other potential forum where I should ask?

I know it's been translated several times already. But I don't think any of the translators are active in the KLI any more, though I could be wrong.

--
De'vID
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