[Tlhingan-hol] bom mu'mey

Wed Jul 31 09:47:44 PDT 2013

Qapla'! Immigrant Song it is, Russ.

Robyn, thanks for the detailed analysis. chu'chu'wI' jIH. I know it's
impossible for you to tell what's intentional and what's not, when it's
just plain wrong. I'm always typing "i" for "I" due to astigmatism, but
rarely lower case D's. I was also trying to force the translation to fit,
which can call for clipping or some other deviation from normal grammar. I
used superfluous pronouns to fill in the meter. Some parts of my
translation are not as good as others. bIQHalmey isn't the destination for
maghoS; it just ended up there due to the meter but it messes up the
meaning so I'll try to fix it. I was completely stumped at "western shore"
and rendered it as "puH Hop." (I gave up when the best I could do was
"puH', 'emDaqbogh jaH pemHov," or land behind which goes the sun.) I'm glad
the "threshing oar" was recognizable thanks to the Dujmey. I left the moH
out of bochenmoHqa' by mistake, and bochenmoHqa' fits. Building new ruins
is definitely not what I meant.

Some of the errors are just plain stupidity. For starters, I have no idea
why I typed "bop" when I meant "bom", not just once but twice.  cha'vatlh
rep. ghIq Qapchu'Ha' yabwIJ.

Laurence should have gotten his money by now. I look forward to seeing you
all at qep'a' cha'maH wa'DIch.

Here is another version in which I hope I fixed everything. It mostly seems
to follow the meter of the original song. I changed the verb in the second
line to macholbejlI'. The original song just says "we come" but this fits
and is more threatening. I rendered "peace and trust" as "roj meq
je". Doesn't meq mean "reason, logic" as opposed to "reason, motive"? The
conquered had better listen to reason. (Don't know what I was doing with
latlh in there. Must have been losing consciousness.) There is still much
room for improvement.

*pawwI' **chu'** bom*

'a a a 'a'! 'a a a 'a'!
chuch puHvo', SoDtaH bIQHalmey tujDaq
ramjep pemHovvo' macholbejlI' maH.
puHmeyDaQ Dujmeymaj yuv Qunpu' mupwI',
novghom'a' wISuvmo', wIbomtaH, wIjachtaH: Suto'vo'qor, jIghoStaH!

maDonchuqtaH, moqtaH bI'wI'mo'. wa' ngoQmaj 'oHbej puH Hop'e'.

'a a a 'a'! 'a a a 'a'!
chuch puHvo', SoDtaH bIQHalmey tujDaq
ramjep pemHovvo' macholbejlI' maH.
tunqu' bIH yotlhmeyraj SuDqu''e'. 'Iwmo' lutmey tlhuplaH bIH,
veS yu'eghmey DIjotmoHta'. joHpu'raj joHpu' maH.

maDonchuqtaH, moqtaH bI'wI'mo'. wa' ngoQmaj 'oHbej puH Hop'e'.

DaH SumevnIS tlhiH 'ej pIghraj botI'nISqa',
wa'leS che'qa'taH roj meq je. 'ach jajvam SulujtaH.
'a a, 'a a a'
'a a, 'a a a'
[DIr'Inmey]

'eD

On Wed, Jul 31, 2013 at 9:16 AM, Russ Perry Jr <russperryjr at sbcglobal.net>wrote:

> Qov, it's Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song".
>
> On Jul 31, 2013, at 5:05 AM, Robyn Stewart <robyn at flyingstart.ca> wrote:
>
> On 2013-07-30, at 23:15, "Bellerophon, modeler" <
> bellerophon.modeler at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> I attempted a translation of a song that needs to be in Klingon. Let's see
> if anyone recognizes it. I took some artistic license:
>
>
> Artistic license is when you translate English with a valid word that
> means something else. Making noun-verb compounds or using a word as the
> wrong part of speech is just abuse.
>
> I coined "chu'pawwI"
>
>
> Your meaning is covered without grammatical error by pawwI' chu' - one
> who arrives and who is new. Also:
> chu'wI' - one who is new
> taghwI' - beginner
> chu'chu'wI' - complete newbie
>
> for newcomer, which is close to the word in the English title, and used
> "ped" as a noun.
>
>
> ped is nothing. peD is a verb.
>
> I committed other crimes to try to fit the meter, and there will always be
> typos.
>
>
> The issue here is what do you want us to do about it? I'm happy to help
> someone write clearer, more grammatical Klingon, but when he says, "look at
> this thing I did, I know it's wrong, I did that on purpose," what is the
> point? I'll try to guess what you don't know and say what it means to me as
> I read it.
>
> *chu'pawwI' bop*
>
>
> pawwI' chu' bop
> It is about the new arrival.
>
> chuch ped
>
>
> chuch peD je - it also snows ice
>
> puHvo' ramjep
>
> pemHovvo'
> SoDtaH
>
>
> From the land, from the midnight daytime star (we have a word jul now for
> sun, but I just figured out from the English term that you might mean "from
> the land of the midnight sun"). Create your noun-noun grouping first, then
> put -vo' on the final element.
>
> ramjep jul puH - midnight sun land
>
> ramjep jul puHvo' SoDtaH - It floods from the midnight sun land
>
> A noun with -Daq or -vo' goes at the beginning of its clause, so when I
> see one in the middle of a sentence without a conjunction or punctuation, I
> get confused. I'm inserting sentence breaks where that happens.
>
> bIQHalmey tujDaq maghoS maH.
>
>
> I'm okay with bIQHalmey tuj for hot springs, but bIHDaq maghoS means that
> we proceed already in them. You probably want bIH DIghoS, we go to them.
>
> puHmeyDaQ
>
>
> DaQ is ponytail. I know you mean "-Daq."
>
> Dujmeymaj yuv Qunpu' mupwI',
>
>
> So, "the gods' hammer pushes our ships to lands," Or maybe "on the lands"
>
> novghom'a' wISuvmo',
>
>
> because we fight an alien horde.
>
> wIbomtaH, wIjachtaH: Suto'vo'qor, jIghoStaH!
>
>
> We sing it, we scream it, Valhalla, I'm coming.
>
> DonchuqtaH maH,
>
>
> We go parallel to one another, (don't forget the prefix on maDon)
>
> moqtaH bI'wI'mo'. wa' ngoQmaj 'oHbej puH Hop'e'.
>
>
> because our oars beat. (I like that one, given the ship context, bI'wI' is
> understandable as oar. Distant land is definitely one of our goals.
>
>
> tunqu' bIH yotlhmey SuDqu''e'.
>
>
> The green fields are so soft.
>
> 'Iwmo' lutmey tlhuplaH bIH,
>
>
> They can whisper songs because of blood.
>
> veS yu'eghmey DIjotmoHta' 'e'.
>
>
> We have calmed the waves of warfare. (no idea what that 'e' is trying to
> do)
>
> joHpu'raj joHpu' maH.
>
>
> We are the lords of your lords.
>
> DaH SumevnIS tlhiH 'ej pIghraj bochenqa',
>
>
> You must stop now and you will  -- okay you're going for "rebuild your
> ruins." The subject of chen is the thing that takes form. With another
> actor, use chenmoH. pIghraj bochenqa'moH makes me first think of building
> new ruins. Is that an idiom in English?
>
> 'ach wa'leS lutlhlaH roj voq ej, 'ach jajvam SulujtaH.
>
>
> But tomorrow the peace can be primitive ... and he trusts it? ('ej is in
> the wrong place) .. but this day you are losing.
>
> So from context it's a Viking song, but I don't know it.
>
> People always feel compelled to translate songs, and are often affronted
> when we beg them to walk before they run, but there we are.
>
> qep'a'Daq qaqIH 'e' vItIv. wa' nem qaStaHvIS wanI' naQ bISaH 'e' vItul.
>
> And 'angghal seemed to think you owed him money.
>
> - Qov
>
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-- 
My modeling blog:          http://bellerophon-modeler.blogspot.com/
My other modeling blog:  http://bellerophon.blog.com/
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