[Tlhingan-hol] qIHpu'ghach wa'DIch - 'ay' wa'

[Rohan Fenwick - QeS 'utlh]

jIghItlhpu', jIjatlh:
> PICARD: chaw': pIqarD [1] loS Soch 'at tay. - 'aj.

mujang De'vID, jatlh:

> Phonetic alphabets are used to disambiguate similar sounding letters, so using the {-ay} form of the Klingon "letters" is not really appropriate here.
Well, it's the only way of naming Klingon sounds, letters, or anything similar that we have, and since we had them I thought it was the best alternative.

jIH:
> HAYES: SoHvaD qab'a' poH, janluq?

De'vID:
> I had to think about what {poH qab} means.  "Did I catch you at a bad time?" is a colloquial expression, and I think you should rephrase this in Klingon.
Yeah, I think you're right. In retrospect, it's too idiomatic and I like your suggestion, though for brevity I may just use {qaqaghpu''a'} "have I interrupted you?".

jIH:
> HAYES: muSujbogh vay' Qumpu' logh Hop vagh.

De'vID:
> Maybe use {QIn} instead of {vay'}?
vIlajbej.

> Also, I'm not sure {Qum} can take an object (though I've probably used it that way myself), perhaps {ngeH} is better.
Possibly, though I'm like Qov in that I'm often a little more permissive with what I allow to take a direct object when we have no canon evidence one way or the other. When I'm not thinking about it I often use {jeS} with a direct object, for instance. But if I use {QIn} then I'll definitely be happy to change {Qum} to {ngeH}.

jIH:
> PICARD: neHmaH wIngIv net ra'. 'eb lujon romuluSnganpu' 'e' wImevmeH. [2]

De'vID:
> I'd add a {-vam} to {'eb} to make it more clear.
vIlaj.

jIH:
> DATA: HoD, romuluS wo' veHDaq qaSbe'pu' wanI' motlhbe' qaStaHvIS Hut jar.

De'vID:
> Instead of {qaSbe'} and {motlhbe'}, how about {qaS} and {ram}?  I am reminded of Kruge's line from Star Trek III: {naDev qaS wanI' ramqu'} "There's nothing happening here", literally, "A very insignificant event is happening here", or "trivial things are happening here".
That's a good point - I might change this to {romuluS wo' veHDaq qaS wanI' ram neH qaStaHvIS Hut jar}.

> (I'd also put the {qaStaHvIS...} first, but keep it this way if you have to sync to the spoken dialogue.)

Only {-meH} clauses need to come before the main clause. Other subordinate clauses can appear either before or after, can't they?


jIH:
> CRUSHER: maqeqnIStaH 'e' Har'a' 'ejyo'?

De'vID:
> What does "shakedown time" actually mean?  I think it's time to get a new crew familiarised with a ship (remind me, did the Enterprise get destroyed before this movie?  Is this a new ship?)
Yep, that's all true. This is the Enterprise-E, the new Enterprise after the destruction of the Enterprise-D in Star Trek Generations.

> which is not quite merely "training" or "practice".  Maybe add a {Dujvam wISovchu'meH} to clarify?
This is another place where I had to be brief for reasons of timing. What if I recast to {Duj wI'olnIStaH 'e' Har'a' 'ejyo'}?



jIH:
> yo' Dujmey'e' 'entepray' 'et 'Itlh law' Hoch 'Itlh puS.

De'vID:
>Problem: {'et} means "fore".  {'entepray' 'et} is the front of the Enterprise, maybe Ten Forward, or the saucer section, or something.
Good point. I'll add a hyphen ({'entepray'-'et}) to try to clear this up - there's a line later on that really requires I use the letter names:
CRUSHER: So much for the Enterprise-E.PICARD: We barely knew her.CRUSHER: Do you think they'll build another one?PICARD: Plenty of letters left in the alphabet.


> Is there canon for {'Itlh}?  For some reason I have the idea that it refers to civilisations and the like.
All I could find was its definition of "be advanced, highly developed" from TKD. I thought I'd seen it in the paq'batlh but can't seem to find it again.


jIH:
> PICARD: maja'chuqtaHvIS jIH 'ejyo' ra'ghomquv je 'e' wIqel. wIra'lu'taH. yaS wa'DIch, neHmaH He yIcher.

De'vID:
> I think {cher} isn't used in this sense.  "set up, establish" sounds to me like what you'd do with an organisation, school, or the like, not with a course.
I think it's more general than that. We have canon for it with {ngoch} "policy", which I think is a parallel sense to how I use it with {He}:
ngoch luchermeH 'ej wo' San luwuqmeH pa' ghom tlhIngan yejquv DevwI'pu'"There, the leaders of the Klingon High Council meet to determine policy and decide upon the fate of the Empire." (S25)


> This is great, I can't wait to see more.
luq!
QeS 'utlh
 		 	   		  
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